What If?

 There aren’t many Christians in Thailand.
 
What if I’m the only Christian they ever meet?
I sure as heck better give Jesus a good name. I better shine for Him all the way from the top of my head to the bottom of my feet.
 
Because I am their light.
I am the light here.
 
And maybe it’s busy and messy and this entire trip just seems like it is filled with a long list of awful goodbyes. It has to be worth it. We have a job that will never end. We are on a race. A race to change the hearts around the world before we run out of time.
 
Last night in the middle of the market Cherub learned how to play the ukulele. She played and we sang worship music for so many who didn’t even understand what was hitting them. Who didn’t quite understand what was drawing them in.
But I know.
 
It was Jesus. It was His love and His light shining through my beautiful friend Cherub.
From the top of her head to the bottom of her feet, He was shining.
 
I have hopelessly fallen in love with Thailand. I can’t lie and tell you I’m not at least a little apprehensive to give my heart away yet again. I don’t want it to be crushed in just a few short weeks. But, it’s so easy to let these kids steal my heart and let them never give it back. I have to admit I love them already. And I know God is asking me to let them have my heart. I feel Him calling out to me, begging me, to give it all to them.
 
I don’t know why.
But, I don’t have to.
No matter how it all ends or how many terrible goodbyes I will have to say, I’m proud of who I serve and I’m proud to say my God is great. My God loves me. My God holds my entire future for all of eternity.
And that is nothing to fear or question.
 
God has given me a platform. Every single night I get to teach English to about 10 Thai students who have no idea how much their God loves them. Every day I love preschoolers who wear idols literally tied to their necks and waists. They have no idea they have a God who longs to break that bondage. They have no idea that is exactly why I am here.
God is trying to teach me how capture hearts for Him. Even if I have no idea how speak their language. Even if I’m supposed to be teaching nouns, pronouns, colors and shapes, He is trying to show me how to teach them the love of our God first and foremost.
 
I’m in the dark.
I’m lost and stumbling because I don’t know how to do that.
But, I’m learning I don’t have to. I’m not the one who is going to come in like fire and ravish the hearts of these children.

My God will do that.
All I am doing is inviting Him in.
All I’m doing is loving.

All I’m doing is shining for my God.