pick me up off the floor. actually, don’t.

“Jesus, I asked You to humble me. In the most unexpected way, You did. You humbled me through others. I saw You so greatly in others I was humbled to my knees. The way I see You in my squad. The way I saw You in Peter. The way I see You in everyone around me is astonishing. Humbled by Your greatness in the smallest of people. If only I could have You like that inside of me.
 
And Jesus. I do.
That fact alone humbles me to the floor.”
 
I wrote that this morning in my journal. So let me back up a bit for you and clue you in on life here in Africa. Before I left for this trip I had two things I wanted from Jesus. One you know about, needing Jesus to even feel like I could breathe. answered.
Two, to be humbled.
Now, as the weeks have flown by and I find myself with a mere 3 weeks left on this journey, I realized this prayer has continually been answered along the way.
 
It started in Honduras. Where the very people who stole my heart had nothing, yet they had so much more than me. They had an unwavering faith. They had nothing except the King. They had everything.
 
In Thailand, oh Thailand, the power and vastness of spiritual warfare floored me. I had no idea. No no no no no idea how powerful Satan was and is. But the glory in the realization that Jesus is even greater than that, well if that didn’t bring you to your knees then I don’t know what will. I’ve never seen so many dark things in my life and they really did take over me time and time again. But, here I stand. Still whole. Still bright. Still full of my Savior. Jesus is so much bigger than all of that.
 
And now, here we are, Africa.
I stood in a room full of my squad mates one evening as we got together for communion and worship. I could not stop the tears from falling. I could not even open my eyes fully to the brightness of the people in that room. I was so humbled. So honored to be in the presence of these young people, just like me, who were so incredibly bright. I didn’t deserve to be in their presence. But there I sat. there I loved. there I prayed with. there I took communion with. There, with those incredible, beautiful, bright people. They will change the world for Jesus. Each in their own way.  it is going to be great. No doubt. I am humbled by them. 
 
Then it happened again. I hiked this mountain. This huge, incredible, glorious mountain. And Jesus created me with the ability to hike such a creation! He healed my knee, which before never would have carried me that far. But it did. I climbed. I climbed with my best friend and our newfound Muslim friend. Whom Jesus has let us love on and pray for and fight for this whole time. But as if the gift of that sunrise over Cape Town and over the oceans wasn’t astonishing enough, He showed me Peter. I don’t know how we ended up talking to this man on our hike down, but we did.
 
Peter had this little girl on his back. She was about 3 years old. We told him good luck and he was strong to do that, because that was not an easy hike at all! Then we got to talking. He said he was humbled by our journey. Ha! Humbled by us? He took our picture and asked us what we had learned most about God’s love. He listened to us as if he truly loved and cared. As his Jesus music played from his pocket, he told us his story.
 
His little daughter, Noami, has a very rare genetic disorder. He said he promised her a year ago he would take her to all 7 continents and take a hike with her in each place. He carried this precious child up mountains. All over the world. He lavished praise to our King for blessing him and his wife such a child. The words of praise and love to our Savior and about his daughter, regardless of her condition, flowed from his mouth so sweetly, so divinely. I cried. I cried and cried as he spoke. He was an angel. Truly. He was.
Then we all prayed with each other. As our Muslim friend, Tasneem, witnessed the entire encounter.
 
When I got to church that afternoon. I wept. Through the entire service. I couldn’t believe the glory of the Father that I had witnessed that day. I am so unworthy.
I am so humbled.
My God is so great. Beyond all comprehension.
He has humbled me. In ways I don’t even understand yet.  
 
So, here I am. Humbled to the floor. And, I think I’ll stay down here.

 
“Jesus lead me where my trust is without borders. Let me walk upon the waters, wherever You would call me. Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander, and my faith would be made stronger. In the presence of my Savior”