dear dad

Dear Dad,
 
 I never fully realized the value of everything you have taught me throughout my life. Maybe, I used to think I knew when I started high school, or when I started to drive. Maybe, I thought I knew as I left for college. Maybe, I thought I knew as I lived away from home for two years.
 
But, I think I know now after spending a few months in a foreign country without you.
maybe.  
 
I know that this week as I built a house I was thankful that you taught me how to use a shovel. I was thankful that I knew how to use a hoe. I was thankful that my hands have been familiar with hard work.  I was thankful that even though I’m a girl I can work like the boys. I’m thankful that you have showed me just what hard work looks like. I’m thankful that where I come from we fix things ourselves. I have been taught to be smart and have intuition. I know how to set up a tent. I know how to live outside and take care of myself.
 
But, I also know how to depend on someone greater than myself. I know how to ask for help. I know how to be helped. I have been shown that I can let someone take care of me as well. I know the balance of independence and dependence. I know how to love because I have been loved. I know how to give and serve, only because I have been served and given so much that I don’t deserve.
 
I know that I’m proud of how I was raised.
 
I realized how blessed I am to have a dad who has instilled these things in my head and in my heart. I realize the example my earthly father is of my heavenly Father.
God has kept me safe and raised me and taken care of me. But, He has also given me the power to take care of myself. He has granted me power in His name. As His daughter he has given me authority over my life and over so many things.
 
So, Dad, maybe I’ll realize all the things you have taught me when I move out or when I get married or when I have kids of my own. Or just maybe I’ll never fully understand how much you have taught me. Just as I may never understand all  that my God has been trying to teach me. But, that’s the journey I’m on. I’m here to learn and grow. I’m here to build houses and clean and cook and to love that perfect love that I have been so freely given.  And as I move my life across the globe to Thailand I’ll continue to learn from both my Dads. And I pray that I never stop learning and growing and loving and serving. 
 
And maybe one day I’ll realize all that my earthly and heavenly Fathers have been trying to teach me.